The Nowever Then-Ernest Schnitzler Time Arch

(Named in honor of the founder of Asbury Park's Palace Amusements)

Over three months in the making, the Nowever Then-Ernest Schnitzler time machine represents the summit of modern technology (the crank notwithstanding). It was expressly designed to take a man (a woman, or a medium-size animal, excluding marine life) back to the Asbury Park of Yore.

The eight slots inside (see image below) are for the insertion of postcards. Recent discoveries at NT Labs have shown that when any photo is taken, the light on the other side of the object photographed can be activated and developed on emulsion. This very same light can hold (what we call) living image properties. With enough cranking (by an assistant), The Nowever Then-Ernest Schnitzler time machine can harness this light and form an environment inside the time arch that transports the time traveler into the now living, three-dimensional postcard-world and then outside the original image itself.

Well, that's the way it's supposed to work. I conducted a brief preliminary test-run of the machine a few months ago. A second cousin of mine, Rolf, agreed to be the subject. The first part of the test went extremely well - I did indeed generate a modicum of living image properties. I'm really not sure what happened after that. In fact, I'm really not sure what happened to Rolf. Anyway, nobody really liked Rolf.

The first real experiments are scheduled for the near future and will be published in Nowever magazine. Like to volunteer?


If future attempts at time travel are unsuccessful, we will abandon this work and resume
our calamari-cloning experiments.


(Please use the "back" button of your browser to return whence you came.)