Mildred's Happy Day

Popular actress Mildred La Skonk was showing off her latest exotic pet when eight-armed "Octee" reached out of it's owner's Olympic-sized pool and yanked her under water. Everyone thought it was a joke until they heard her scream, "Save me, Jesus!" Mildred, a Satan-worshiping Hollywood cocaine addict, would never have said such a thing; therefore  everyone took her outburst as a sure indication that she was really in trouble.
As soon as she screamed, however, "Octee" let her go. She became a believer on that very day, threw her pet back into the ocean, and now refuses to work in any movie that is not connected with Mel Gibson or Jim Caviesel.

Her friends have disowned her.

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